The banter of a woman about the changes of her life, dreams, and how it affects her. The write up is more like a woman talking to herself about how her life changed from a simple childhood into an adult life that she dreamt of.
I don’t know what is it in the weather that makes me melancholic or just feel like wearing the thinking hat! Its -15 F outside and so am fully tucked in on my favourite couch with a back yard view window which actually consists of a huge pine tree mostly covered with a white blanket of snow and add to it the constantly falling snowflakes like somebody was spraying it from atop except that they would have to have a barrel of it 🙂 See… I told you that there was something about the weather that made me not only thinking but weird too! its been more than a year since I moved to a northern suburb in the US and have had a good share of winter, this is my second I suppose its still new but in spite of the slushy parking lot, dirt sticking to the boots, a heavy coat to wear no matter where you went at what time etc., but if you sat on your window seat with nothing but a steaming cup of water not even hot cocoa 🙂 and watch the outside world get blanketed with the snow and the trees trying hard to shake off the white stuff off of them like a very attractive woman trying hard to remove the stupid winter coat
There is something so ethereal/ aesthetic about the whole scene that I simply can’t shake it off and walk away to do something else. I think this kind of a feeling came to me long back when I was a kid and we lived in a large coffee plantation and my mother totally freaked out with the forest area around us and wouldn’t let me out as much as I would have liked and I got to sit in a window seat and read my favourite books like about Mr. Suppandi in Tinkle, Chacha Chaudhary in diamond comics and such.
Even then I remember I simply stared at nature outside and wondered about so many things and daydreamed. As years passed by the books were replaced with several copies of Archies, Enid Blyton to Sidney Sheldon, and some Kannada weekly’s that came with short stories. But the daydreaming and restlessness continued without any replacement. Even when I completed my Masters and got into a product development company a lot was replaced, the forest surrounding was gone, the novels were gone but in came the crowded city traffic, the deadlines and meetings at the office and the laptop – my favourite toy!
Except for I still, daydreamed when I sat in the cab and did not have a call to receive. ….. As a kid I dreamt of growing up and as a grown-up i dreamt of a better job, better pay, more shopping, more, more, and more… then I got the more and still sat in a cab on rainy days and dreamt of someone somewhere to go back home to, to talk to, to laugh with and I wondered after all the years if it was ever going to happen!
Back in Bangalore, there is no snowy winter but we do have our share of really horrible rainy days. What with all the sudden challenges in life and a career to manage I had sort of lost track of a list of things and finding the Mr. right had been on the top. So amidst all the chaos of life, I did meet a TDH (Tall, dark, handsome- although that story would be told another time) and did tie the knot.
I resigned the job after all those years of report making and fighting and number crunching, I just resigned! The sitting in the cab and staring out the window and daydreaming resumed, this time around dreaming about how relaxing it would be to wake up in the morning and not think anything other than breakfast… Surely I wasn’t going to try thinking about that day’s first meeting, the emails to be answered, breakfast to be served, report to be made at the same time.
And then I flew to the US and slept and slept and slept and realised I had stepped in right at the start of a very long and horrid winter of the northern part of the US, which later moved into lashing rain and above 90 summer heat. Of course i continued the daydreaming at the window seat, even if in a rented apartment because it gives me a settled “at home finally” feeling, and I look forward to the hot summer days so that I can hold a glass of chilled lemonade, sip it leisurely and wonder about life – the general ifs and buts.
Now that I wrote down the banter I might as well get back to my dreaming along with the cuppa 🙂
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